When Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live with in BC?

Going through a separation or parental divorce is never easy—especially when children are involved. One of the most emotionally charged question parents in Kelowna often ask is: “Can my child choose which parent to live with?” While it’s natural to want clarity and control during this time, British Columbia’s family law takes a nuanced approach to child custody decisions, prioritizing the best interests of the child above all else.

How BC Law Approaches Child Custody

In British Columbia, child custody is referred to as parenting time and parental responsibilities under the Family Law Act. The law does not grant children the legal authority to choose where they live. Instead, courts consider a wide range of factors to determine what arrangement best supports the child’s emotional, physical, and psychological well-being.

There is no specific age at which a child can legally decide which parent to live with. However, as children grow older and demonstrate maturity, their preferences may carry more weight in custody decisions.

What Does “Best Interests of the Child” Mean?

Section 37 of the Family Law Act outlines the criteria courts must consider when making parenting arrangements. These include:

• the child’s health and emotional well-being

• the child’s relationship with each parent

• the stability of the proposed living arrangement

• any history of family violence

• the child’s views, unless it’s inappropriate to consider them

In Kelowna and across BC, the child’s opinion is one factor among many. For example, a 10-year-old who can clearly articulate their wishes may be heard, but their preference won’t be the sole deciding factor. Conversely, a 16-year-old’s views may be given more weight—provided they are mature and not unduly influenced by either parent.

How Are a Child’s Views Presented in Court?

To ensure children are not placed in the middle of parental conflict, BC courts use several tools to understand their preferences:

Views of the Child Report

Prepared by a qualified professional (such as a psychologist or social worker), this report summarizes the child’s thoughts and feelings in a neutral, respectful way.

Hear the Child Report

This is a less formal version, often used when the child’s views are straightforward and don’t require psychological analysis.

Section 211 Report

A comprehensive assessment ordered by the court that may include interviews with the child, parents, and other relevant parties.

These reports help judges make informed decisions without requiring the child to testify in court—a process that can be stressful and emotionally harmful.

Common Misconceptions

Many parents believe that once a child turns 12 or 14, they can choose where to live. This is not true under BC law. While older children’s views are considered more seriously, there is no legal age at which a child can make that decision independently.

Another misconception is that a child’s preference will automatically be honoured. In reality, courts assess whether the child’s choice aligns with their best interests. If a child’s preference is influenced by promises, pressure, or misinformation from a parent, it may be disregarded.

Navigating Custody During Separation in Kelowna

If you’re a parent in Kelowna facing separation or parental divorce, it’s essential to approach custody discussions with compassion, clarity, and legal guidance. At Heritage Law Group, we understand the emotional toll these decisions take. Our experienced family lawyers are here to help you:

• understand your rights and responsibilities

• navigate parenting arrangements with care

• advocate for your child’s well-being

• prepare for mediation or court proceedings if necessary

We believe that every child deserves a stable, loving environment—and every parent deserves support during this challenging time. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and let our Kelowna family law team guide you through your separation or parental divorce with clarity, compassion, and trusted legal expertise.